Sunday, September 18, 2016

Saying Goodbye to my Momma.

Today starts the official Beginning of saying Goodbye to my Heart.
My Momma passed, Sept 15 after a battle for her life that we still don't have the answers to.
She fought valiantly still trying to be that Sassy Woman she always was 
but in the end she was just too DAMN tired.
The pain won, and we lost the most amazing Mother, Grandmother, and Best Friend.

I don't know when I will be back here sharing projects, hopefully it will be soon.
I just don't know how my heart can find normalcy again without her.
I don't know how to not feel I am disrespecting her memory by continuing on doing what I was doing before. 
She has been through this and I know the last thing my Mom would ever want me to do was to stop doing what I love because my heart hurts. 

So this is my "Until my heart is ready" post.
It could be a week it could be days..I don't know.
Trying to fill the void of taking care of her, I may need to dive into projects to keep myself from going into "the snake pit" as she always called it.

But after watching my momma suffer and fight even though its selfish I still wanted her to fight some more, but I knew from how TIRED I was of trying to fight for her she must have been tired 10 fold. I will never resent her for finally giving in to it. She was my heart and I know that not as many are as lucky as my family to have such a relationship on such a deep level that it leaves a gaping hole that nothing can fill, nor do I want someone to try. That hole is a reminder of the part of me was always part of her. It was never mine..but it was her heart that beat inside of me.

Until I am ready..Thank you for understanding. 
Here's hoping there is THRIFTING in Heaven

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